


Whatever It Takes

by vanityvause



Category: Emmerdale, vanity - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Female Characters, Female Friendship, Female Relationships, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanityvause/pseuds/vanityvause
Summary: Charity receives a Christmas card from someone from her past.There's fluff and angst and betrayal. All sorts of things to make you (love and) hate me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains a small flashback with mentions of violence and alcoholism.
> 
> Some blanks filled in, some things possibly changed slightly. All in the name of a story!

“We got our first Christmas card!” Vanessa exclaimed as she thumbed through the small pile of post she’d just collected from the mat by the front door.   
  
Charity had only just woken up and sat nursing a strong cup of coffee at the kitchen table. She wore a silk robe and her hair fell loose over her shoulders in waves most spent a lot of time and money trying to achieve.  
  
“We’re not even a week into November yet, babe!”   
  
She wasn’t a morning person, Charity. Faced them more often than not due to having kids and a job to go to, but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it. She was always a bit of a grump first thing and Vanessa was well aware of that, which was why she took it upon herself to ease into a hug from behind.   
  
Charity didn’t reject Vanessa’s cuddles, not unless she was really grumpy and even then there was still a fifty-fifty chance she wouldn’t. The smaller blonde’s arms draped over her lover’s shoulders, her lips pressing one lingering kiss followed by two small pecks to Charity’s jaw. “Aren’t you curious who sends their Christmas cards out this early?”   
  
The tired one softened up a bit. A lot. It was visible in the way she relaxed under her girlfriend’s touch. “Mhh,” she replied. Something Vanessa easily translated as “yes” she would definitely like to know who sent that Christmas card before it was even December, but she didn’t want to admit to her curiosity.  
  
“Shall I open it for you?” Vanessa offered. After all it wasn’t addressed to the both of them, just Charity.   
  
They’d decided this year, now they were under the same roof that they’d hang their cards together.   
  
Charity swiped the envelope causing Vanessa to giggle. Of course Charity didn’t want someone else to open up something that was hers. What if it had a few hundred pound notes inside?   
  
Vanessa rested her chin on the other woman’s shoulder lightly, eagle-eyed. She wanted to know who’d sent the mystery card just as much as Charity did, though her reason was to know who to warn in advance about having made it onto her girlfriend's hit list.   
  
Christmas cards in November. The cheek of it.   
  
The envelope was ripped into, the card inside swiftly removed from its sleeve. One look at the picture on the front though and Charity’s blood ran cold. She didn’t open it up, had zero desire to and quickly shoved it back into the envelope it had come from.   
  
Vanessa was confused, “What is it? Don’t you want to know—“   
  
Before she had a chance to finish her question, Charity had, albeit gently, removed herself from the hold.   
  
“No.” She replied bluntly as she stood up remaining on the spot for a few seconds. She looked like she’d seen a ghost and the worry was evident on Vanessa’s face.  
  
“Charity?”   
  
“It’s. I’ll read it later babe, I just realised I need to be over at the Woolpack early this morning,” she lied. Vanessa could tell but she didn’t pry for once. There was no doubt she would later, there was no chance Charity was getting away with not telling her what on Earth had just happened. Whatever it was had gone straight over Vanessa’s head, she hadn’t a clue!   
  
“Oh,” she said quietly, a frown pulling at her lips.  
  
“You’ll be alright dropping the boys to nursery, won’t you?” Charity asked, though it was clear it wasn’t really a question. Vanessa didn’t have much choice in the matter. “Yeah?”  
  
She was about to protest, question. Something. Until Charity leaned in and captured her lips in a hurried kiss that shut her up. She wasn’t sure if that had been the intention or if her love was telling her silently that it was okay, not to worry.   
  
Vanessa always worried.   
  
She watched as Charity reached back and swiped the card from the table and rushed upstairs apparently to get ready for her day ahead. Chas never opened up this early, so if Charity was telling the truth it must have been some sort of delivery or a meeting of sorts. Nothing Vanessa couldn’t give her girlfriend the benefit of the doubt over for now.  
  
The taking of the card made her wonder though. Who was it from? Why did it spook Charity so much?  
  
Taking a deep breath, Vanessa reached for her trusty yellow coat and pulled it on over the jumper and skinny jeans combo she’d chosen for the day. “Come on boys, get your coats on, it’s time for nursery.”   
  
Both Johnny and Moses sat on the sofa playing a game of something or other. It seemed to involve an Iron Man action figure and an Elsa from Frozen doll. Vanessa didn’t ask. The slightly older of the two, Moses, jumped down first, running off to grab his coat to put on himself. He could do that now, just needed a bit of assistance getting the zip started and the buttons into their right holes.   
  
Johnny stayed put, clinging to the Elsa doll he’d wanted for his third birthday so badly.   
  
“Oh alright,” Vanessa smiles. “You can bring Elsa to nursery with you.”   
  
With that, her son hopped down from the sofa and ran off to retrieve his coat. Both boys reporting back to Vanessa to help do them up.  
  
When all three pairs of shoes were firmly in place, Vanessa shouted up the stairs her goodbye to Charity, complete with a now always present "love you!" that on this occasion was echoed by two boys. Then it was time to scarper, nursery wouldn't wait, especially not with Queen Elsa in tow. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Charity sat on the edge of the bed she shared with Vanessa. She hadn't even picked out what she wanted to wear for the day, let alone attempted to get ready. There was no reason for her to be over at the pub before eleven and she wouldn't have felt great about lying to Vanessa if she'd have been able to give that a second thought. As Vanessa called up her goodbye, it barely registered and her reply of a feeble, "Yeah, love you too!" was delivered on auto-pilot. 

The offending card sat between two sets of fingers and thumbs, the writing on the front staring back at her.

She should have known, only one person she'd ever known had written her name like that. Such careful lettering, like it had been written down a thousand times before it had finally been chosen as her name. She hadn't paid attention to it, it wasn't possible and her memories were flawed from such a long time ago. Surely she had to be mistaken? But then she'd pulled the card out of the envelope and set eyes on that scene. 

An old-fashioned scene. The kind of card a grandmother would send had she been eighty years old.

A scene you'd find on the front of a Christmas themed jigsaw puzzle. 

There was a young girl with long blonde hair all wrapped up in a winter coat, hat, scarf, the lot. She wore a pink set of earmuffs and the end of her nose was blushed the same way her cheeks were from the cold. There was snow under her feet and pretty lights adorning the house behind her. 

Charity remembered receiving the very same card when she was small, wishing for snow that year and asking Father Christmas for a puppy just like the one she'd noted was sat in a bow-tied basket on the doorstep of the little girl's festive looking home. She didn't get a puppy that Christmas, not even a pair of stupid fluffy earmuffs to keep her warm. 

The card was pulled free once again. 

As her fingertip traced the gleeful smile on the girl's face, a small smile of her own touched her lips. 

That year she'd curled up in her mum's lap and thanked her for the knock off Barbie she'd received. She knew it wasn't from Father Christmas because when she'd complained about the lack of a puppy her dad had grown angry and informed her the man in the red suit was a farce. She'd had an idea that he was. He'd forgotten it was even Christmas one year and made it up to her days later with a big bar of chocolate from the local petrol station. Charity may have been young, but she wasn't stupid. 

That year she'd cuddled up to her mum with her doll safely tucked under her arm and pulled out the Christmas card she'd been given to study once again. It may have been old fashioned, even for the dawn of the eighties but it was all hers and the scene put a touch of magic in her heart. 

Kathleen, Charity's mum, had told her that day that she'd picked out that card especially.

The girl on the front looked just like her girl, the hair and the way her skin blushed when the cold swept over it. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A young Charity Dingle came running through the door from school. Her pigtails were uneven and a couple of her adult teeth hadn't yet grown in but she was happy. Delighted in fact. She raced through the door clutching a painting she'd done, "Mummy?!" She hadn't even kicked off her scuffed patent shoes yet. 

"Charity," Obadiah, her father spoke unnaturally softly. He wasn't a soft man. "sit yourself down, love, there's something I need to tell you."

The young girl turned on her heels. There was something about his tone that put her on edge. Such tenderness was foreign to her, especially coming from him. Green eyes fixed on the older man, confused but expectant. Was this some sort of trick? Get her to come closer and then give her a thick ear for a giggle? She wasn't giggling.

"Sit down, Charity." he repeated. His softness wearing off already. 

"Just tell me, Dad," Charity huffed. She didn't have much patience even then. 

"SIT DOWN!" his voice raised causing her to stumble back a good foot and drop her painting. 

She did as she was told though. He had a knack for that. The nearest place to park her bottom was the lowest stair, where she did just that. 

"Thank you," that softness returned but now he'd ruined it. Charity could see right through him and she didn't trust that he wouldn't lose it again. 

Instead of daring to ask again, to push his buttons, Charity reached for her artwork and pulled it towards her. A silent way of letting him know that she hadn't made it for him. She wasn't going to allow him to have it when it was created especially for her mum. 

"Your mother," he began, taking his time with spilling whatever it was he had to tell her. 

He had Charity's full attention at that point. She sat there on the bottom step looking up at him, waiting with all the patience she could muster. 

"She's dead." 

And there it was. No time taken after all. In fact it was dropped like a bomb on a country that wasn't even at war. Out of bloody nowhere. 

Charity blinked. She'd heard him wrong obviously. 

"I'm sorry, darlin'..." he attempted to comfort his young daughter, "it's true. She had cancer." 

That did it. Charity jumped up from her seat and stomped over to her father. "No she didn't! You're lying!" 

Obadiah took a breath in. Who did she think she was getting in his face like that? But then, he had just told her that her mother was dead. 

"You're LYING!" she screamed, desperately seeking out his confession. 

Sometimes Obadiah could be cruel. He drank too much and he had a terrible temper, at times he seemed to think things that weren't at all funny were the funniest things in the world. His daughter didn't trust for a minute that this wasn't just another of his really bad jokes. 

"I'm not, Charity." he replied. Not at all what she wanted to hear. Nor did she like it when he attempted to soothe her with a gentle grasp on her shoulder. 

If he was doing those things, if he wasn't laughing in that maniacal manner after he'd "got" her with his joke, then maybe he was telling the truth? She had to admit that as sick as he could be and as inebriated as he could get, he hadn't ever gone this far. Not with her. 

"You are..." she sniffled, her voice losing it's volume as the tears welled in her eyes. 

"You know she wasn't very well, love," her father sighed, doing what he usually failed at and pulling her into his arms. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

With a shaky hand, Charity dared open up the card but looking down at what was written was too much to ask just yet. It was snapped closed with force as she took a moment to breathe, to gather herself so that the knots in the pit of her stomach didn't make her sick. Then she tried again, this time watching the card open like her own fingers didn't belong to her and she was watching it all unfold from somewhere else. Like this wasn't her own life about to implode. 

What if the stupid card was from someone else? It made more sense that it would be. A person didn't receive cards from beyond the grave very often. 

Charity wasn't so lucky this time. This wasn't a card from Faith, who just happened to find old fashioned Christmas cards to be charming. Inside were a simple few words; "I'm sorry for everything. I can't take it all back but I'd be grateful for a spot in your life now. Mum. x"

On the usually blank side were more words, probably a return address or another mind-blowing announcement Charity wasn't ready for. She couldn't focus on the words, the letters of the note she'd already taken in were blurring as her eyes brimmed with tears and her gut filled with rage.

Conflicting emotions tore through her.

She couldn't be upset that her mother was alive after all but could she really believe it? If she was, could Charity even begin to get her head around whatever answers the woman had for leaving her with a poor excuse for a drunk father when she was so young? 

Life had been so, so hard and Charity could only begin to imagine how it could have been had her mother stayed and been there to keep her safe. 

Maybe they'd have been lucky enough to escape the clutches of Obadiah. Maybe Charity would never have had to sit upstairs and listen to him beat her mother black and blue, again. Or hear him tell her how useless she was, that she'd never amount to anything and show her daily how much more important his bottles of liquor were over his own child.

Maybe... Kathleen would have supported her daughter when Debbie came along and the rest of the kids would have happened in a completely different way. Three more babies with a person who loved her, because she knew her worth and she hadn't suffered at the hands of every man she'd ever grown close to. She had grown up with a strong woman in her life to show her the way.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Downstairs the sound of a key turning in the door followed by someone entering the house snapped Charity out of her daze. She quickly shoved the card back into it's torn envelope and pushed it under the pillow nearest to her. 

"Charity?" A familiar voice called up to her. 

She should have known Vanessa could sense something was off. That woman could smell a rat a mile away. 

Charity wiped the few tears that had managed to fall away from her cheeks and gave herself a quick once over in the mirror across the room. She wasn't there long before her girlfriend burst in with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. 

"Why did you lie to me?" Vanessa demanded. 

She'd run into Chas in the street who'd laughed in a confused manner when Vanessa had wished her luck with whatever it was that was pulling she and Charity into work so much earlier than usual. That at least lead to the small blonde practically begging Charity's cousin to take the boys to nursery so that she could get home and find out what was going on. It hadn't taken much for Chas to agree, she liked spending time with Johnny and Moses, but more importantly she cared for Charity... especially when it wasn't her who had to pick up the pieces of whatever was happening in her wreck of a life this time. 

"I made a right idiot of myself!" Vanessa exclaimed, her frown so adorably animated that Charity almost laughed.

But she knew better. 

"I'm sorry, babe!" she threw back. "Genuinely! I just don't feel all that great this morning, that's all."

Vanessa raised a brow. She could tell when her girlfriend wasn't being completely honest. 

"What!" Charity huffed. She didn't like being caught out, especially when she hadn't thought up an excuse yet. 

"I know you're lying," Vanessa groaned. "but," a sigh followed as she closed in on the woman she loved, who was still very much in her night clothes. "I know you wouldn't lie to me if you didn't have a good reason to."

Charity had come to terms with the fact that Vanessa could soften her in seconds. She'd been ready for a fight, wound up with all the emotions that card had brought to her and then Vanessa goes and says something like that. So bloody understanding and so sweet. 

Stepping away from the bed, Charity cupped Vanessa's face in her hands, "What did I do to deserve you, eh?" the smile on her face was faint but very present. Vanessa always seemed to be able to bring her down from the ceiling and she was beyond grateful for it. Baffled, but grateful.

"I don't think it's about deserving," Vanessa mused. "Think it's sometimes just meant to be." 

Charity chuckled, sure that under each layer of cute Vanessa had, was another one just like it. Endless layers of sweetness and light. 

"Now are you gonna do what you always do and kiss me so I don't ask you anymore qu--"

Vanessa didn't have time to finish her cheeky stab at the woman she had come to know inside out, before said woman was kissing her. Inching the two of them back towards the bed until Charity herself sat down and Vanessa followed with a straddle of her lap. 


	2. Chapter 2

Late for work and only just aware of it, Vanessa hurriedly buttoned up her jeans. Charity sauntering over behind her in the silk robe she lived in on most mornings. This time with nothing underneath. Her arms snaked Vanessa’s bare waist, fingertips purposefully grazing across her girlfriend’s stomach before her palms settled, holding her in place.   
  
“Don’t leave me.” Charity pleaded, her words laced with desire. No damsel in sight.   
  
“I’ve got to go to work!” Vanessa protested, her own hands covering Charity’s.

There was a feeble attempt at removing those hands from her stomach but no real effort was ever intended and quickly she accepted her fate, melting into her girlfriend’s hold.   
  
Charity knew exactly what she was doing. Her lips had already begun their assault on Vanessa’s shoulder, a line of kisses laid down leading all the way up the side of the smaller blonde’s neck.   
  
“You’ll have more fun if you stay here with me.” Charity murmured.   
  
“ _I can’t!_ ” Vanessa whimpered really, _really_ wanting to call in sick.   
  
More so when Charity’s hand began to move south.   
  
Vanessa caught her at the wrist, hating herself for pulling such a move. In what world was it ever sane to turn down Charity Dingle? And in favour of a day’s work too!

“Ugh,” the smaller one groaned. “you’re insufferable!” 

Charity snorted. “Think you mean insatiable, babe.”   
  
“Yeah, well... how am I supposed to think straight with you around?!”   
  
That was the kind of line Charity lived for. She drove Vanessa crazy and she loved every second of it.   
  
“Not my fault, is it.” There was no sympathy from the landlady. Her lips had moved to Vanessa’s ear, her teeth gently tugging at its edge like the tease that she was.   
  
“ _No!_ ... Yes!” Vanessa lightly slapped at her girlfriend’s hands to get them to release her and as soon as they did she escaped, turning to face the irresistible one. “I’ll never get my actual job back if you keep making me late!”  
  
Charity wasn’t sorry. Not about that anyway. She was sorry, however, about the sudden amount of space between herself and her lover. Said lover stood there in her bra, all flustered and stubborn as ever.   
  
“How about you slack off and spend every morning in bed with me while you’re Pearl’s backup dancer and when they finally give you your job back,  _then_ be punctual!”   
  
Vanessa narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t sure where to even start in responding to that string of words.   
  
“You're a terrible influence.” She grumbled. Her shirt was collected from the bedroom floor and pulled on, each button quickly dealt with despite Charity’s gaze making her want to shed it all over again.

"And you love me for it, babe." Charity smirked, having given up trying to get Vanessa into trouble and instead beginning to think about her own day ahead.

Things were looking brighter now they'd gone back and started the day in the only way that was acceptable. 

Charity wandered over to her wardrobe and began to finger through all the different outfits she had hung up in there. So many choices and not one was calling out to her today. Not discouraged, she closed her eyes and picked a couple from the section she'd labelled her favourites. Those were always safe to pick from, she knew she'd be happy wearing anything from there. 

"Ness, which one of these do you think --" she paused having turned to her girlfriend to grab an opinion and instead found Vanessa holding the card that had been hidden under a pillow not long ago. 

"When were you gonna tell me about this?" Vanessa asked. She was curious but the look of sadness on her face poked Charity right in the heart. 

This was exactly what she didn't want. She'd been trying to deal with things herself and with it all being so new and raw, she hadn't had the time to pull herself together and figure out how best to approach the situation. Vanessa knowing so soon wasn't ideal. 

"Put it back, Vanessa." Charity was irked. 

"I'm sorry, I was just making the bed and I found it." 

"Well, it's mine... so put it back, will you?"

Charity was clearly losing her patience and she didn't have time for Vanessa to hesitate the way that she was. Moments like these where her emotions got the better of her would always lead to her feeling bad later on, but in that moment she stomped over to the other woman and snatched the Christmas card away from her. Vanessa's hand pulling back in surrender. 

"Charity." Vanessa's tone was soft. No part of her was afraid of the other woman, she was just worried she'd add to whatever was going on already and she didn't want to do that, but leaving her alone to wallow without at least trying to help wasn't Vanessa at all. She had to at least make an attempt to get Charity to open up to her. 

"It's fine!" Charity snapped, clutching the card tightly once her clothes choices had been abandoned on the end of the bed. "I'm fine." 

Vanessa knew better and Charity still hadn't fully grasped that. It's what came from living her entire life with nobody to have her back, not one hundred percent. Everyone always wavered, even those who cared about her most like her cousin Chas and her own daughter, Debbie. They couldn't be relied on fully. 

"You're not though, are you." Vanessa dared to approach. A bold little woman, she was. She wouldn't touch the card, it was like reaching out to touch the baby of a fierce mother bear. She wasn't silly. 

She'd never give up, Vanessa. Always trying her best to do the right thing by those she loved and cared about most, sometimes to her own detriment. 

Charity relaxed a little. "No, you're right," she admitted, sinking down into a seat on the side of the bed. 

Vanessa quietly took her spot beside Charity, her hand offering a bit of comfort by way of a light squeeze to her thigh. 

"I'm not. It's from," The taller of the two took a deep breath in, needing to say the words but not quite sure she was ready to. " _my mum_." 

That perked up the short one's ears. Did she hear right? Suddenly she had no chill at all and swiped the card straight out of Charity's hands, yanking it out of the envelope that had been well and truly abused since it's arrival at Tug Ghyll. 

"Vanessa!" Charity was taken aback but soon hushed as she watched her girlfriend study the card with a mixture of concentration and concern on her face. 

"Are you sure it's her?" Vanessa asked, looking up from the written words she'd just read, into Charity's eyes. 

" _Yes_ , I'm sure!" Charity wasn't really in the mood for a story time and Vanessa sensed that, leaving off for a little while. 

Of course Charity would know if it was genuinely from her mother or not but it was an obvious question to ask, Vanessa thought. What if it was Obadiah or some other random Dingle that she didn't know about yet, who'd decided to play a horrible joke on her girlfriend? She wasn't sure why they'd want to do that or who in their right mind would, but anything was plausible when the other side of the coin was Charity's dead mother having sent a Christmas card. 

Vanessa surrendered the card to the bed behind them and shifted closer to the woman beside her. 

"Sorry for being so nosy," she said sheepishly.

Charity relaxed once again the moment the subject was dropped. 

"When aren't you?" she asked with a smirk playing on her lips. "C'mere." 

Vanessa could never resist the beckoning, leaning into the softest of kisses before a perfectly mutual embrace. Sometimes it just felt good to hold onto Charity, to breathe her in and give her that five minutes of quiet she so badly needed. Life didn't seem to have any sympathy for the landlady, it liked to throw one thing after another at her and Vanessa was ever determined to get in the way of that, to soften the blow and make things easier for her girlfriend in any way she possibly could. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Vanessa dropped down on the sofa just inside the door of Café Main Street, her best friend noting the cogs in her brain whirring but choosing not to ask about them just yet. There was a much more pressing question to be answered; "Do you want a sandwich today or just a coffee?" 

"Just a coffee, thanks." Vanessa replied, unbuttoning her jacket and shrugging it off so that she could hang it over the back of her seat. 

Rhona approached the counter and ordered two cups of coffee and a muffin, knowing her friend would likely think herself hungry and appreciate the sweet snack later on. 

When she returned, Rhona carefully took her place across from the sofa in an armchair, her eyes on Vanessa, trying to suss her out. 

"What?" Vanessa noticed, she couldn't stand how quickly her friend could catch on when something wasn't right. She knew her too well! 

"We can pretend nothing's going on if that's what you want to do, Ness, but you know I'm here if you need to vent." 

Rhona hadn't finished her sentence for more than a split second before Vanessa weighed in. She often did that. She'd insist she didn't want to talk or couldn't and then something would burst inside her and she'd let it all out without taking a moment to breathe. 

"Charity got a Christmas card in the post this morning that freaked her right out," she explained, her voice lowering so that only Rhona could hear what was coming out of her mouth. The last thing she wanted to do was announce Charity's private business to the whole village. 

Rhona sat forward in her seat, needing to hear more of this story. "Who was it from? And do they know it's only just November?" 

Vanessa shook her head, dismissing the whole No Cards In November lark. 

"That's the thing. It was from her mum... who's been dead and buried for thirty-some years." 

"What?" Rhona asked. "How is that even possible?" 

"You tell me!" Vanessa shrugged. The chat coming to an instant silence as Brenda appeared with their order. 

"Alright you two, which one's having the muffin?" 

Vanessa pointed to Rhona, who pointed right back at Vanessa. 

"Well, that's not very helpful, is it." Brenda sighed. Some people, eh? "I'll just put it down in the middle until you decide."

"Thank you, Brenda." Rhona smiled, leaning forward to drag her coffee closer to her. She was in the mood for sugar this morning and nothing was going to stop her from emptying two whole packets into her cup. 

Once Brenda had gone back to the counter to continue serving other customers, Vanessa was free to continue. 

"She's convinced it's from her, Rhona. You should have seen the look on her face," Vanessa shook her head. "shaken to the core, she was." 

Rhona wasn't sure what to say, giving her attention to the teaspoon she'd dunked into her coffee to stir all that sugar in. 

"I'm thinking about doing some research," Vanessa started, fast getting her best friend's attention right back on her. 

"Oh no you don't, Vanessa. You can't. You know better than that." 

Vanessa did. Vanessa should.

She sank into her seat looking a little defeated. If she couldn't get involved then how could she possibly be of any help?! 


	3. Chapter 3

Vanessa usually wandered into the Woolpack around six-thirty on a weekday evening with a full day's work behind her, but on this particular evening she didn't arrive. Now and then it wasn't much of a worry, she'd have headed right on home to spend some time with the boys before bed time or stayed late at the veterinary surgery to see to the last few emergency patients if Paddy or Rhona needed an evening off.   
  
Being signed off from her official duties as a vet for an entire year meant those late nights didn't currently happen, so as Charity pulled a pint for her latest punter, she wondered if Vanessa had just forgotten to give her a heads up about going straight home to let the babysitter go early.   
  
Paddy had won out against Rhona and managed to appear through the Woolpack's doors earlier than he had in a long time, settling himself down on a stool at the bar.

"The usual, please Charity." he requested, attracting the landlady to him like a moth to a flame. He knew where Vanessa was, surely!   
  
"Paddy!" Charity flittered back and forth as she finished off serving one customer and came right to her cousin-by-marriage.

She grabbed a clean glass and poured him a pint of bitter, only half concentrating on getting it the perfect head, green eyes on him. "Busy day?"   
  
He was exhausted, that wasn't to be argued with and with the way Charity paid more attention to him than she might have ever done since they'd known each other, he was also a little suspicious. Not to mention on edge.  
  
"Yeah," he replied. "but not too much more than every other day..."   
  
The narrowing of his eyes didn't help much when it came to trying to suss her out.   
  
"How's Rhona?" Charity asked. She amused herself sometimes and wasn't entirely sure why she was beating around the bush like some shy school girl who wanted some info on her newest crush. Vanessa, that was, not Rhona. Ugh.   
  
"Rhona's... fine," Paddy stared at Charity for a couple of seconds, his eyes dropping to his drink as she pushed it towards him across the bar top slowly.   
  
"She on late tonight?" Charity's hand rested on her hip, her ears happily ignoring a whole row of customers who'd just rolled into the pub after finishing work.   
  
Paddy sipped at his pint, eyeing Marlon who'd come out from the back with a tray of bar snacks for a table.   
  
Marlon didn't catch the silent pleas for help and went about his business, giving his best friend a little nod hello.   
  
Charity wasn't giving up.   
  
"Well she must be. Rhona, I mean. I know Vanessa's not. 'Cause she can't, can she... and you're here! So where's the little one?"   
  
Paddy scratched his bald head. "The litt-- Leo?"   
  
The one behind the bar let out a loud laugh. "Vanessa, you idiot. Why's she not here? Drinking with me?" 

"Well, I don't know, do I?" Paddy didn't even crack a smile. "I'm going to go and sit over there now, okay?" 

Charity shook her head in a somewhat defeated manner. Trying to get things out of Paddy was sometimes like trying to get diamonds from a potato. She waved him off with a dismissive waft of her hand and went back to do some actual work. Chas was taking a ten minute break and nobody else was around to fill in. 

"What can I get you?" she asked, like she'd rather be anywhere else than there. 

 

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Ten at night was Charity's favourite time of day when she wasn't stuck with closing up. It was the time in which she got to escape the drunkards without having to be the one to literally shoo them out of the door and home to their sad little lives.

When she got to leave at ten, she did nothing more than disappear through the back door into what was now officially Chas and Paddy's place, or grab her coat and slip out the front on her way back to the home she shared with Vanessa and their little blended family.

Having wrapped herself up in one of her many long coats, Charity bid her goodbyes and left the warmth of the Woolpack for the cold night air.

"Mum?"

Debbie's voice calling out from somewhere in the dull-lit street made Charity pause and look around. Once she spotted her daughter she turned in her direction, tucking cold hands into her pockets as she waited for her to catch up.

"Bit late for you to be out wandering the streets isn't it, babe?" Charity always had her kids best interests in mind.

"Just got back from seeing Sarah," Debbie rebutted, "and I could say the same about you."

Charity shook her head. There was no point in reminding Debbie that she left the pub at ten on nights she wasn't closing, she was pretty sure she knew that anyway. Instead she changed the subject to a more important one.

"How's Sarah?"

"Oh, you know, bored as always."

"It's about time they got more entertainment in kids hospitals. Or all hospitals!" Charity thought aloud.

Debbie looked at her like she was insane, which wasn't an unusual reaction.

"Think they've got higher priorities, mum."

"Anyway," Charity butted in, the cold was nipping at her nose and it wasn't welcome. "I've gotta get home before Vanessa goes to bed without me. Everyone else does." Though everyone else was a child with school or nursery bright and early in the morning.

"Alright, well I'll see you around." Debbie was always flat-toned, especially around her mother.

Charity grinned. She was used to her daughter, didn't mean she adored her any less. Turning on her heels she waited until they were a good ten feet in opposite directions before she yelled back, "Love you!"

She could hear the eyeroll from all the way over there but was satisfied when she got a distant, "yeah, yeah, love you too." back.

 

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The moment Charity walked through the front door at Tug Ghyll, she let out a satisfied sigh. That house was her happy place these days, somewhere for her to be herself completely and get nothing but love for it.   
  
"Hey babe, you alright?" She spoke softly, so not to wake anyone upstairs.   
  
Vanessa sat on the sofa with her laptop rested on curled up legs but as soon as Charity moved towards her she closed the lid and shifted so that she could comfortably discard the it on the coffee table.   
  
"Heey, yeah I'm good, how was your evening?"   
  
Charity took note of the way her girlfriend instantly got rid of her computer and made a joke of it while shedding her coat and kicking off her heels in one swift movement.  
  
"You know I don't mind if you Google dirty stuff, babe."   
  
Vanessa laughed, "Oh, hush you. I've been waiting forever for you to get home, I'm not gonna spend another second fixing Pearl's mistakes now I've got you."   
  
And that was exactly what Charity liked to hear, glad that there wasn't an expensive computer to potentially smash as she took a dive down on top of the smaller woman, who reacted with a dramatic "oof" of a sound. Laughter came next, most of Charity's weight taken by the couch.

"Missed me, have you?" Charity fished, already knowing the answer. She also didn't give Vanessa enough time to respond before she kissed her. That was a habit of Charity's these days, kissing Vanessa before she'd had the time to gather her thoughts, let alone air any of them.   
  
It wasn't that Charity wanted to shut her up, she quite enjoyed the sound of Vanessa's voice actually! It was just that she really wanted to kiss her sometimes and was very impatient with it. Sometimes no amount of words could tempt her to hold off for a minute longer.  
  
Vanessa scooted down the sofa a little bit, placing herself in a more comfortable spot beneath Charity. Her arms looped the other woman's shoulders crossing tight to pull her in. She had no issues with swapping out conversation for kisses, the day had been long and she had missed her girlfriend, that was correct.   
  
When nobody had to rush off to work and each child, whether a teenager or a toddler was tucked up in bed, Charity and Vanessa were blessed with a bit of alone time and there's no prizes for guessing how the liked to spend it most often.   
  
As their kisses moved from the soft, sweet "I really missed you today" kind to the sort where clothes were bound to come flying off in the near future, Charity's hand crept beneath the hem of Vanessa's shirt catching a feel of the warm stomach beneath it. The second her fingers touched the smaller woman, she always gained a reaction. This time it was the breath catching in the back of Vanessa's throat. Nobody set fire to her skin like Charity did, and with such a simple touch.   
  
"Did you miss me?" Vanessa managed to get out, also knowing the answer. Charity didn't literally jump on anyone else when she'd been away from them for a few hours. She didn't get a verbal response but with the way Charity's mouth treated her neck to it's undivided attention and her other hand began to see to the pesky buttons at the top of Vanessa's jeans, she knew. No words necessary.   
  
It was in the heat of things, when Charity lifted up to get rid of her own shirt over her head, that Vanessa's computer began to talk.   
  
"You've got mail!" it announced. It was ignored.  
  
"You've got mail!" it repeated. It was beginning to get on Charity's nerves.   
  
"You've got mail!"   
  
"Okay, babe," Charity reached over for the laptop and pulled the lid up. "I know you love that annoyin' Meg Ryan movie, but that's just obnoxious!" She couldn't help laughing. "Tell it to shut up, will ya?"   
  
Vanessa seemed a bit flustered, more so than she would have been from the mood Charity had put her in. She quickly sat up and grabbed for the computer, almost knocking her girlfriend on the floor as she did.  
  
"Whoa, alright, Ness! It's not that important. I was joking!" Charity flopped back to the other side of the sofa, giving Vanessa the space she needed. "Let it repeat itself, we won't be paying attention in a minute anyway!"

Vanessa had zoned out, desperately trying to find that e-mail and close it out so that it remained private. 

That made Charity more than just a tad suspicious. 

"Have you got a secret lover or something?" She asked in jest. Part of her starting to wonder what could possibly make her girlfriend behave so strangely. 

"No!" Vanessa blushed. "Of course I haven't." 

Charity was honing in on the e-mail on Vanessa's screen, to which Vanessa quickly closed with a click of the X in the corner. 

"...Vanessa." 

Vanessa looked at Charity. 

"Don't be weird with me, babe. What are you hiding?" 

"Nothing! Why would I hide anything from you?" 

It was clear to Charity that Vanessa was hiding something, it just hadn't really worried her until that point. When it seemed quite evident that whatever it was, was important enough to lie to her over. The tone changed in an instant, Charity looking Vanessa dead in the eyes.

"Oh, so you've started lying to me now, have you?"

Vanessa knew that trust was key in any relationship but especially so in a relationship with Charity Dingle. She felt awful for having done exactly what Charity was accusing her of and there was no way around it. Instead of continuing and making it worse, she backed down, her tone quiet and full of the shame she felt. This wasn't her! She was the one person Charity could trust, what was she doing?  
  
"No," she sank in her posture. "I'm sorry, it's just."   
  
Her silence didn't sit well with Charity either, who asked quickly, "What, babe?! What is it?"   
  
"It's just that I did something stupid and I knew it the second I did, so I was hoping I could just make it go away."  
  
Vanessa trailed off, hushing her mouth. How was she going to fix this now? She sat up and slid to the edge of the sofa once more, this time using the mouse pad to open up the very email she'd tried her best to hide from sight. It was to someone Charity had never heard of but the message below reading:   
  
"Thanks for the info, Ness. Here's the address and phone number you were after. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you! Ellie x"   
  
It wasn't the message itself that bothered Charity, it was the address and phone number's owner; her mother Kathleen.   
  
"Vanessa! What did you do?!" Charity stood up, completely outraged.   
  
Vanessa popped right up with her, "I'm sorry! I thought I was doing something good and then I got second thoughts and I was just gonna delete it!"   
  
Charity looked like she could pick that computer up and throw it across the room.   
  
"Why don't you ever learn?!" She snapped. "How many times are you gonna ignore what I've said to you and do what you think's best behind my back?!"   
  
The smaller woman sank even further into her skin. She felt terrible and rightly so. The look on her face was guilt, layers and layers of guilt. Charity was right, Rhona had been right. She never did learn. Why on earth did she seem to think she knew better? Maybe it was down to the purity of her heart? The hope she had that things would work out for the best in the end and she wouldn't mind being the meddling one who got the ball rolling. It worked out with Bails and with Ryan too.   
  
This time it didn't feel the same. Charity had already pulled her shirt back on and was stomping about the room full of anger and frustration.   
  
"I'm sorry!" Vanessa pleaded once more. "I promise, she doesn't even know I requested her info! She's none the wiser, Charity!"   
  
"That's not the point!" Charity hit back, "you didn't ask me! This is my mess, not yours!" the disappointment on her face breaking Vanessa's heart in half.   
  
She wasn't meant to be the one who caused that. She was meant to be the one who made things better and here she was failing miserably at it.   
  
"You know what?" Charity grumbled angrily.   
  
Vanessa was afraid to ask, her eyes brimming with tears. She hated being the reason anyone she loved was upset, especially her girlfriend. 

"What?" She asked feebly.   
  
"I'm going to sleep at the pub. Or on Debs' sofa... or anywhere that isn't here!!"   
  
With that she gathered her coat back from where she'd thrown it over the banister and pulled it on.   
  
Vanessa hurried over. "Charity."   
  
"Don't, Vanessa." Charity snapped right back. "I don't want to hear it."  
  
She didn't need to say it twice, sliding her feet back into the heels she had been glad to see the back of for the night before she headed right for the door.   
  
"Charity!" Vanessa wasn't happy. "Please just listen to me."  
  
The taller of the two let out a loud "Ha!" as she opened up the front door. "Not until you start listening to me."   
  
She had a point. Although Vanessa had been there for her through the toughest of times in the last year, she'd also managed to fail at listening more times than was acceptable and she was so disappointed in herself. Charity was always waiting for the next person to come along and do wrong by her and that was never, ever Vanessa's intent. Everything she did with Charity in mind was for her benefit, it just so happened that now and then she went about it completely wrong. 

Charity slammed the door behind her with no thought about the sleeping babes upstairs, Little Miss Do Good could deal with them tonight. 


	4. Chapter 4

"She should know you'd never purposely do anything to hurt her!" Tracy tried her best to comfort her big sister with words as she went about making her a nice cup of tea.

It was late and Tracy was in her pyjamas. Luckily nobody had seen her on the quick trip over from the place she now shared with Leyla ever since Charity and her two youngest had moved into Tug Ghyll.

Vanessa was in a heap on the sofa under a blanket that smelled like Charity. That aspect wasn't helpful but at least it was warm.

"Purposely," she sighed heavily. It didn't really matter if she'd purposely hurt her girlfriend or not, what mattered was that she had and she felt beyond terrible about it.

"That's important though, V," Tracy's tone was hushed, to keep from waking the boys upstairs and also in sympathy for her sister. "Charity knows you've always got her best interest at heart."

The mopey one didn't agree, she didn't know what to do with herself and the level of guilt she felt for attempting to contact Kathleen without even having that conversation with Charity.

"She'll never forgive me, Tracy." Vanessa sobbed, yanking the blanket up over her face in an attempt to disappear from the world.

Tracy finished up with the cup of tea, not bothering making one for herself. Chocolate or leftover cold pizza were the only things she liked to consume so late at night. She dumped the teabag into the bin and tucked the milk back into the fridge before returning to the counter top to collect the freshly made brew.

She hadn't been a huge fan of Charity Dingle, she'd be the first to admit that but she trusted Vanessa and she would have been a fool to deny how happy the mouthy landlady had made the vet. The fridge even attested to that. There were the usual pictures of Johnny and now Moses and Noah too. There was even a drawing Jack had done of Granny Charity with Vanessa in her yellow coat, a vision that could melt even the coldest of hearts.

Placing the hot mug down on the coffee table, Tracy edged her bottom down onto the sofa forcing her mourning older sister back enough to let her perch there. "Come on, Vanessa," she sighed, feeling a little hopeless. How was she ever going to make her feel better? "you can't hide away in there forever."

An attempt to pull the blanket away from Vanessa's face failed, the small one had a tight grip on it. Determined to stay cocooned for life. If there was no she and Charity, what was the point?

"Alright, well," Tracy patted the sad lump beneath the blanket, assuming it was somewhere near her waist that she'd caught but it was hard to tell with all the cushions throwing off Vanessa's shape. "I'm gonna go upstairs to bed and leave you here with your brew," blue eyes scanned the room for a moment. She hoped maybe Vanessa would change her mind and come out from her hiding place.

When she didn't, Tracy let out another soft sigh of defeat. "Okay. I'll see to the boys in the morning so you can rest, but I can't promise they won't wake you up anyway."

Vanessa was laid in the center of the house after all. It would be quite the feat to get three boys up and ready for school and nursery without accidentally waking her.

Tracy leaned over and gave the blanket's head a loud "muah!" of a kiss.

"Love you, sis. You'll be okay, I promise."

She wasn't sure of that, it was more of an audible hope. A prayer or something.

 

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Normally Tracy Metcalfe wasn't too fussed with mornings, she had to get up and get to work and she tended to put herself to bed at a reasonable hour unless there was a party to go to the night before. If there was one, all bets were off. Tracy enjoyed a good knees up.

This morning in particular wasn't great, she could have done with another couple of hours in bed at least and sleeping in her sister's bed wasn't her favourite.

Johnny had burst into the bedroom long before was necessary and the moment he'd noticed that his auntie was in the bed and not his mum and Charity, going back to sleep was off the cards. Tracy loved spending every chance she got with her nephew but before the sun had come up? Not so much.

Around seven was when Moses had joined in, he was more like his mother and looked a little worse for wear when he'd just woken up. He didn't want to be out of bed yet but with the giggles coming from the room next door, he was too intrigued to stay in his bed.

Seven-thirty was when Noah poked his head around the bedroom door.

"When's breakfast?" he asked Tracy, not even bothering to ask where his mum was or even Vanessa. He didn't seem worried as to why Tracy was there instead of them. His belly was empty and he had to leave for the school bus in no time at all, he wanted his breakfast.

"I don't know," Tracy declared. "what do you want?"

That was a dangerous question to put to a teenage boy who'd just realised he could play up a little bit.

No parents around, no rules. Right?

"How about a fry up?" Noah suggested. To which Tracy died a little inside.

"Seriously? You don't get a fry up every morning. What's wrong with a bowl of cereal or some good ol' toast and jam?"

"Nah, mum and Vanessa make us a fry up every morning and it's on the table by now." Noah was so deadpan that it was hard for Tracy to figure out if he was telling the truth or not.

"We don't eat cereal and toast, do we boys." Noah added, knowing full well that those two three year olds thought he was the bee's knees and would back him up with anything.

"Sausage!" Johnny stood up on the bed, bouncing a little too close to Auntie Tracy for her liking.

"An' BACON!" Moses joined in, his step brother helping him up so that he could bounce too.

Someone was going to land on Tracy, she was sure of it.

"OKAY, oh my god!" Tracy sat up and wrapped an arm around a small boy each to still them. "I don't believe you whatsoever but I'll whip you up a cooked brekkie if you get these two dressed and meet me downstairs in ten."

She wasn't sure how on earth Vanessa and Charity dealt with this on a daily basis, she knew it helped that there were two of them but it was like having two whirlwinds and a time bomb in the same room. Dangerous.

Noah was always more cooperative when he'd got his own way, so he helpfully got the two young ones down from the bed and lead them off towards the bathroom to brush their teeth.

"Vanessa's sleeping on the sofa, so keep quiet!" Tracy yelled after the trio, quickly remembering to take her own advice.

 

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After seeing Noah off to school, dropping the two youngest boys to nursery, checking in on her sister and heading to work for a couple of hours, Tracy was tired and not in the best of moods so it probably wasn't wise of her to go to the Woolpack for lunch.   
  
She wasn't hungry, so she'd have a lot of time to nurse a soft drink and shoot evils across the bar at Charity for upsetting her sister so much. Yeah, she was biased these days. Every day. Vanessa always had her back and even though they hadn't known each other for as long as sisters should, not even close, Tracy knew her big sister well enough. She knew the woman didn't have a bad bone in her body and didn't deserve to be treated like a villain.   
  
Having taken a seat at the back, near the window, Tracy sipped at the lemonade Chas had served her with and looked over the lunch menu. She didn't think she'd order anything but was in two minds, knowing she'd kick herself for it later on when her stomach began to rumble and she couldn't grab herself anything to eat for another hour or two.   
  
Maybe just some of Marlon's amazing chips? She thought.   
  
That's when she heard that all too familiar voice behind the bar. Charity.   
  
"Oi, you!" She couldn't help herself, leaving her drink behind on the table as she bolted over to the landlady.   
  
"Tracy!" Charity couldn't even fake joy but her over-the-top grin and high-pitched tone were an attempt. "What do you want?"  
  
Tracy stomped around the bar and grabbed Charity by the wrist.   
  
"Oi, yourself!" Charity protested. "What the hell are you doing?!"   
  
"I need a word." Tracy wasn't taking no for an answer. "In private!"   
  
Usually Charity wouldn't allow anyone to drag her off in front of a bar full of people but part of her wanted to hear whatever it was that Vanessa's little sister had to say.   
  
"Alright, alright," Charity yanked her arm away from Tracy, brushing down the arm of her blazer as if she'd become dishevelled from a mere touch. "you alright for five minutes, babe?" she asked Chas, who rolled her eyes.   
  
When wasn't Charity bringing drama into her pub or slacking off? It was always one or the other.   
  
"Yeah, go on. Sort whatever this," Chas waved her hand around. "is out and get yourself back here. It's lunchtime! We're busy."

In the back room, Charity poured herself a glass of wine knowing full well that she was going to need it once Tracy got started. She wasn't sure why she was in the dog house, she hadn't actually done anything wrong!

Tracy wasn't offered a drink and she got stuck right on with the telling off.

"What is going on?" she demanded, waving a hand in Charity's general direction.

"What's it got to do with you?!" Charity snapped, diving in.

She'd imagined easing in with a few cutting comments before any raised voices but Tracy had waltzed in and turned up the volume in an instant. She had to join her, there was no way she was being drowned out by Vanessa's little sister.

"My sister's a giant mess and I've been picking up the pieces all night and day, that's what it's got to do with me!" Tracy wasn't letting Charity get away with anything.

"Well, tell her to get up and get bloody on with it like the rest of us!" Charity pretended to have no sympathy. Quite well actually.

Tracy huffed, dropping herself down onto the sofa much to Charity's dismay. She didn't want her to be making herself comfortable, there was a pub to run and all of a sudden Charity was interested in doing that. Not being stuck in Chas's living room being reminded of what a failure she was.

"Are you finished now then?" Charity asked, turning her back on her company to take a long, much needed gulp from her wine glass.

"No, I'm not actually," Tracy's tone had softened, she was finished being an anger ball and instead ready to try and help in any way she could. It seemed that was in the genes she and Vanessa shared. A small amount of good they inherited from their father.

"Then what do you want?" Charity wanted to know, one hand on her hip as she span back around in wait for the answer.

"I just hate seeing her like this, Charity." Seeing Vanessa in bits wasn't anyone's favourite thing to witness, but to those who loved her like the two blondes in the room did, it was possibly the worst thing to have to watch.

Charity was softening a bit too, the wine coursing through her veins helped with that.

"Did she tell you what she did?" She assumed she had. Knew that Vanessa had been truthful when she'd apologised right away and said she knew she'd made a mistake the moment she'd done it.

"Yeah, she did," Tracy shrugged. What could she say to that? She knew Vanessa had been in the wrong, the cause of this fight. "but you know she regrets it, don't you? And she put a stop to things before it went too far."

"She lied to me, Tracy!" Charity replied quickly. Everything else was all well and good but lying? They didn't lie to each other! "She needs to know that's not okay. That's something I'm not gonna put up with."

Tracy sighed. "It was a white lie. It's not like V's a compulsive liar, is it."

Charity slammed her glass down on the coffee table.

"White lie? Big lie! Little lie, flippin' GREEN lie! I don't want any lies between us, Tracy!"

"Alright, okay!" Tracy threw up her hands in surrender. The last thing she wanted to do was poke an angry bear. "I just wanted to let you know that she's suffering. She feels really bad! And... to remind you that she's got the purest heart you'll ever meet."

With that, Tracy stood up and left the room. She'd said her piece and that's all she was willing to do for now.

Charity was left with those words resonating. She sat herself down on the sofa and reclaimed her glass of wine. She'd need to finish it up before she went back out to face the rest of the afternoon and then maybe she'd be able to go and face Vanessa.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some naughty content involving a table, as per @filletdabitchx's suggestion. ;)

A handful of hours passed before Chas became too agitated with her cousin's moping and she sent her home. It was only just gone seven and the pub would be open for a few hours yet, but holding the fort with the likes of Bob bloody Hope at her side was more appealing to Chas on this night.

Charity didn't need to be told to clear off twice, she'd been thinking about a certain small blonde holed up in their house crying about the fight they were in the middle of. The idea made her feel rotten, even if she knew she had every right to be angry and disappointed at the whole situation.

This love thing was rough. There she was all pissed off and rightfully so, finding herself feeling bad for the one who'd caused it all. Feeling terrible for reacting in a way that was mild considering who she was!

She'd gone on home and hesitated only for a minute before she pushed her key into the front door to let herself in. On the inside Vanessa was still down, there was no changing that until things with her girlfriend were rectified but she was up from the sofa and helping Tracy clean up after the kids dinner.

"How did you manage to get spaghetti sauce in your ear, Johnny?!" Tracy laughed, picking up her nephew from the ground to bounce on her hip playfully. The little boy let out a giggle of joy.

"Up his nose too!" Moses piped up, reaching up on his tiptoes to point as closely as he could possibly reach. He wanted to point out to Auntie Tracy that Johnny had got that sauce in his ear, up his nose and so far around his mouth that he looked more like Ronald McDonald than his brother at this point.

"Eww, you're right!" Tracy wrinkled her nose knowing the boys loved gross things and her emphasis would only bring them happiness.

"'Ghetti bogies!" Johnny yelled out. Moses jumping right on the bandwagon with that. "Sketti bogies!"

The boys and their aunt were having the greatest time together, while Vanessa quietly wiped up the mess from the table top and gathered the plates to pile into the sink.

When the front door opening was heard, Moses bolted to greet his mum, Johnny wriggling free of Tracy's hold to do the same. The boys had become inseparable, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were brothers.

"Boys! Don't hug Mummy Charity with those grubby little hands!" Tracy called out behind them, but they were too quick for her. Speedy little dirt monsters, already clinging a leg each to the newly arrived one who greeted them with a scruff of their hair.

It was always a nice feeling to get a greeting like that. Knowing you were missed and that people wanted you around.

Tracy was in the running for sister of the year, she had to be. She gave her sister a gentle shoulder squeeze and made a beeline for the two little ones, "Come on then, you two. Who wants a bubble bath and a then story read by Auntie Tracy?"

Of course the boys did, they had short attention spans and had already grown tired of their hug with Charity. They were off in no time, racing up the stairs to grab their bath toys from the overflowing tub they kept them in.

Just as Tracy disappeared up the stairs behind the boys, Vanessa turned around from the sink and stood there sheepishly looking at Charity.

This wasn't her usual self, this was a side to her she didn't usually need to show. A wracked with guilt side that left her without many words. What could she say? She was guilty and sorry didn't seem even close to enough.

Charity ignored her for a moment while she peeled off her jacket and discarded it, then stepped out of her shoes and kicked them to the side so that nobody tripped over them. She wasn't ignoring Vanessa to be spiteful, more just gathering herself so that they could approach an adult conversation without her blowing a gasket.

Vanessa was still lingering, it was quite awkward.

Charity crossed the room and stopped at the other side of the table to her girlfriend.

"I'll be honest, I don't know how to do this," she said a little feebly herself.

"What?" Vanessa worried. What if this was it? Charity had come to break things off! What if she could never be forgiven for even thinking about contacting Charity's mother without asking first? It didn't really matter that she hadn't got that far, she knew that.

"Talking. Like two grown ups." There was a hint of a smile on Charity's lips as she pulled up a chair and sank down into it.

"Oh." Vanessa was surprised.

She slowly claimed the seat closest to her and tucked her arms beneath it. For a moment there she felt like a naughty school kid who'd been called into the head mistress's office.   
  
"I'm so--" Vanessa tried, immediately interrupted by the woman sat opposite her.  
  
"I don't want that. Not yet," Charity told her. "I just wanna know what the hell you were thinking?"  
  
Vanessa visibly shrank, her hands appearing atop the table, reaching out toward Charity's that didn't respond just yet.   
  
"I don't know." She sighed heavily, hating herself more than just a little.   
  
"I'm gonna need more than that, Vanessa!" Charity Dingle was hardly known for her patience. "Start from the beginning! And tell me who the hell Ellie is while we're at it!"  
  
Ah, yes. That name hadn't slipped her mind. Maybe she was being a bit jealous without realising it but when a strange woman e-mailed her girlfriend and seemed really friendly with it, she wanted answers. She was hardly in her most secure state after their little run-in the night before.   
  
"Okay," Vanessa braced herself.   
  
She knew she had to be wholly honest this time around, no white lies. Charity didn't care for them, nor did she deserve them. White lies were meant to be meaningless little things that helped spare a person unnecessary hurt and here Vanessa was, hurting the love of her life with one.   
  
"I saw the way that card affected you and I thought, what if there was a way for you to come face to face with your mother again?"   
  
Charity tried her best to keep a poker face, not wanting to throw Vanessa off with her reactions. It wasn't easy to spill a story with someone hanging on every word, especially when it was likely you'd upset them. She kept quiet, allowing Vanessa to continue with as much ease as possible in such a situation.   
  
"What if I could bring her to you, and you could introduce her to the kids?" Vanessa looked down at her hopelessly lonely hands, her brow knit.   
  
And Charity's feelings of betrayal were dispersing. She knew all along that Vanessa would never do anything with anything but pure intent. She wanted to shake her for being so bloody cute. How did she go through life with such a Disney view? How on earth did she manage to miss all the dark parts of this story and go straight for the greenest of pastures? Hearing it made all the difference, quelled any negative thoughts that wanted to creep in and paint Vanessa in any other way.   
  
Vanessa continued. 

"I just thought about the good parts, you know?" She shrugged rather hopelessly. "And Ellie, she's an old Uni friend who dropped out in the first year and went on to become a PI."

Private Investigator Ellie, failed vet.

"She can get anyone's information with not much to go on," A frown formed on Vanessa's face. "Which is a bit creepy come to think of it. And, I told her your parents names, your dad's address... nothing much, I don't know much to pass on."

Charity didn't really care who knew what her parents were called or where her poor excuse for a father lived. She finally reached out to accept Vanessa's hands, linking fingers with both.

Vanessa went on. "I thought it was a bad idea the minute I hit send! So much so that I Googled 'how to unsend an e-mail' -- you can check my history if you like."

Charity couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her. That was so Vanessa.

"No, you're alright."

"So I kept an eye on my inbox for a couple of days and when the reply from Ellie finally came I didn't know if I should tell you about it so you could decide what to do with the info or just delete it."

Vanessa couldn't lie, properly lie to save her life and Charity knew that. She gave her hands a light squeeze.

"It felt wrong to delete it."

Charity knew that sitting down and talking to Vanessa would help. Even if it had been with a push from Tracy and a shove from Chas, she'd stepped up and made it happen and she hated to say it but they were right. It did make a very big difference, she could now look at the woman across from her again and see all the positive things she'd grown to love about her over the past year.

"I called you a liar, you know." Charity confessed, her eyes casting down at the chipped deep purple nail polish on her own fingernails and Vanessa's seemingly perfectly manicured set. How did someone who ran around after two small boys half the time and spent the rest of it seeing to half dead animals have such beautiful nails? She had to wonder what her secret was.   
  
"Well, I am one, aren't I?" Vanessa hated the idea but was willing to take on the label if she had to.   
  
"No you're not," Charity refused. "you did a stupid thing and you got flustered when confronted."   
  
Vanessa wasn't sure why being so fully understood made her feel like crying, but it did. Tears welled in her eyes as she listened to Charity. It was probably due to the sweet relief of being forgiven. Or at least feeling that way. She was yet to officially apologise but that would come soon.   
  
Vanessa nodded.   
  
"I'm just grateful that you stopped before you did something you couldn't undo." Charity didn't like to think how she'd have reacted if Vanessa had brought her mother in one day for a brew.   
  
Surprise! Mum's back from the dead! Let's all have a nice cuppa and pretend she didn't abandon you for a hellish life thirty-some years ago.  
  
It wouldn't have played out like that, Vanessa wasn't an idiot. It was just not a positive situation and Charity couldn't see a way around that. How could she ever make light of what her mum had done to her? The abandonment was the root of all of her woes, if she really thought about it.   
  
"Can I apologise now, or?" Vanessa got a bit of her sass back.  
  
Charity raised a brow in her direction. As if the short stack was that under the thumb.  
  
She groaned, "You owe me one. It better be a good one an' all."

"I'm sorry," Vanessa took her hands back and stood up from the table. Charity assuming that was it and honestly the lamest of apologies to ever exist. That wasn't it.   
  
Vanessa made her way around the table, a single finger tracing the edge on her way around. Charity watched her every move. "I'm so sorry."   
  
There was something different in the air that Charity picked up on right away. It wasn't the sass that had made a comeback, nor was it the relief from getting the much needed forgiveness. It was more along the lines of wanton Vanessa Woodfield, a delicacy.   
  
"What if I don't forgive you?" Charity provoked her. She knew how this game went.   
  
Those on the outside, if they were crude enough to imagine the two women together, would surely think that Vanessa was the shy retiring sort. She'd for sure be the one to let Charity take the reigns in every situation bar none. And they would be completely and utterly wrong.   
  
Charity wasn't new to this, after a year with Vanessa she'd met this side of her many a time. She'd met her the first night they'd spent together and honestly, it's what had made her come back for seconds, thirds, hundredths.   
  
"I'll be very disappointed," Vanessa pouted. It was over the top but there was a devilish glint in her eye that ruined it for her. Charity couldn't feel bad for her now. That genuine upset she always had when she was legitimately disappointed was missing in action.   
  
The smaller woman stopped short of Charity, suddenly wishing she was as strong as an ox so she could shift her chair around with one flick of her foot. But this was reality, not a movie and she had to make do with what she had in front of her.   
  
"Do you want to disappoint me?" The pout was exchanged for a lift of a defined brow. Vanessa didn't give Charity a lot of time to respond, hopping up onto the table's edge directly in front of her.   
  
"No," Charity managed to get in there, shifting her chair alright. Just forward this time to get her hands on the flirty one she was lucky enough to call her woman. "I'll accept your apology on one condition,"   
  
Vanessa had taken on Charity's persona, it seemed and she rolled her eyes as she brought one of her legs over to the other side of the chair Charity was sitting in. "What's that?" She asked. 

"You agree to a hot make up sesh here on the table you just finished cleaning." Charity was incorrigible, her hands already taking to her girlfriend's knees, beyond thankful that she'd chosen to wear a skirt. The tights though, they'd have to go.   
  
"Ooh." Vanessa lost her character for a moment as a rush of heat shot up from her chest, through her neck and straight into her cheeks. Charity could do that to her. Knock her for six with a mere suggestion.   
  
"Go on then," Charity enjoyed snatching control back without really trying. It made her feel good to know she had that kind of affect on another person, but it also excited her to know full well that Vanessa wouldn't let her keep said control for too long. "apologise." There was an element of demand in her words despite the hush of her tone as she leaned in closer to press a kiss to the spot just above her hand on Vanessa's leg.   
  
"Thought I already had," The defiance that Vanessa often threw up showed the world that as soft as she could be and generally was, she was no pushover. There was fire in that belly of hers. "but I will agree to your terms."   
  
Charity couldn't help how much she liked it when Vanessa challenged her. She would have grown bored of her pretty damn fast if the small blonde really had been an easy conquest and someone she could do whatever she wanted with without any sort of comeback. That was too easy and as much as that could be attractive for five minutes, in order to keep Charity Dingle around, sometimes a bit of non-compliance was required.   
  
"So you're not gonna then?" Charity faked a disappointed sigh, her fingernails scraping over the thin material that covered Vanessa's outer thigh. Part of her wished her nails were sharp enough to rip through and leave ladders in their wake.

"Nope," Vanessa replied confidently, hiding the fact that she would willingly apologise a billion times if Charity really needed her to. This was a game of tug o' war, one she was sure she could win because she had done before, many a time.   
  
Vanessa's hands captured Charity's face in them, a rare feeling hitting her upon noticing that the table gave her a boost and let her be the taller of the two for once in their lives.   
  
Charity was lost for words, something that happened once in a blue moon, so she just bit embraced the quiet and allowed herself to be swept up in her girlfriend's gaze. She could always make Charity feel beautiful, even in the midst of a fight or a moment of passion when sweetness wasn't on the agenda. Vanessa was careful to never insult her and to always raise her up one way or another.   
  
Now it was just her face, the kitchen light capturing the elusive gold speckles in her eyes. Vanessa had always seen them, spotted them very early on in their relationship back when neither of them wanted to commit to calling it that.   
  
Vanessa didn't say anything, there was no need to ruin a mood with a mushy comment even though it was clear as day on her face what she was thinking. That devil in her slipped away for a few seconds while the lovesick teenager reared her head.

Charity caught that look, Vanessa may as well have had literal hearts for eyes and it not only amused the landlady, it made her heart swell.   
  
There was no way Charity was letting go of the idea of the two of them making up the fun way though, not while the kids were fully occupied upstairs for some time and they were all alone.   
  
"Come 'ere," she said, like she always did, lifting just enough to meet Vanessa in a kiss.   
  
Vanessa leaned forward sending Charity back into her seat, one hand still cradling her jaw while the other held her shoulder to keep her balance. There was no room for a klutz in this situation, she was determined of that.   
  
The two were in sync, no words necessary when it came to the way they worked together. As Vanessa hopped down from the table holding onto that kiss, Charity went straight for the most offending garment; Vanessa's tights.   
  
The shorter woman got a kick out of Charity just knowing what she wanted, it was like a sixth sense. As their kiss grew more intense, Charity's neck craned backwards with Vanessa, for once towering over her, standing over her lap, the stupid tights were pulled down and left halfway due to Charity's impatience and need to have her hands all over the warmth of Vanessa's thighs.   
  
Charity found the way her hands gathered Vanessa's skirt to be quite pleasing, her fingers inching the material upwards until she realised the flaw in her plan. Those bloody tights. She was about ready to collect every pair Vanessa owned to throw into her trusty fire pit to be burned to ashes. How dare they hinder her plans to pull her girlfriend down into her lap.   
  
When the touching stopped and the kiss slowly eased off, Vanessa noticed.   
  
Of course she would notice! It was like the whole world had come to an end.   
  
She was a little dazed, a tad flustered but not quite gone enough to ask, "What?!"

Charity shook her head. "Them pesky things!"   
  
Vanessa's eyes panned down, realising what the protest was about and she laughed.   
  
"They keep my legs warm in the winter!" she explained, not that Charity cared less. She would have preferred Vanessa's legs to be frozen solid if it meant she could get to them without getting into a tangle.   
  
Vanessa hopped back up onto the table offering out her legs with a playful swing at Charity.   
  
"Go on then," she laughed. "get rid of 'em."   
  
And Charity did. Took pride in the split second that it took to yank them off by the toes, more than likely ruining them and she didn't mind one bit if she had. And after that Vanessa was done laughing because she was taken by surprise. A hot under the collar Charity Dingle launching at her for another of those passionate kisses, her hands giving now bare legs a nudge as she stood up and reclaimed her crown as tallest blonde.   
  
Her favourite place to be happened to be between Vanessa's thighs, the way they held her tight the moment she yanked the smaller blonde to the very edge of the table and into her. Crashing bodies was another favourite pastime. Charity was confidently grabby and Vanessa had no complaints. Not even half of one.   
  
Their kisses were heavy and their hands were everywhere, Vanessa just as grabby it seemed, her fingers hurriedly and carelessly pulling buttons free of the holes they hid in to get Charity out of her shirt. She thanked god that her woman liked a good shirt, it meant they didn't have to break away from their shameless make out session to get rid of it and the kiss was still going strong when Vanessa finally got to the point of pushing Charity's shirt off her shoulders and letting it fall into the unknown.   
  
It could have been shark-infested waters for all she thought about it. It was merely the kitchen floor but who was keeping tabs.

The moan that escaped Vanessa as her hands took Charity's waist set fire to the one beneath her fingers. There was nothing quite like a simple touch of your skin being able to turn a person on and Charity knew she did that to Vanessa.   
  
There was always a moment with the two blondes, it didn't matter if they were going one way or another entirely, there was always a few seconds where time seemed to stop for them. Where the kisses ceased and their hands quit roaming, where their bodies came together and the electricity coursed from one to the other and back again.   
  
Charity couldn't get enough of the way the tiniest of hairs along her arms would stand on end just from having the smaller woman that close. The feel of her breath against the nape of her neck where she'd tease a little before her lips actually touched any flesh.   
  
And then it was like someone pressed play again and the world sped right up behind them.   
  
Vanessa left open-mouthed kisses down one side of Charity's neck while Charity's hand made it's way home.   
  
"You know I'm so..." Vanessa attempted to deliver a few important words into her lover's ear, only to be thrown off by the knuckles that brushed her underwear. "oo...ry, don't you?"   
  
Her question was almost lost to the instant lust she felt. Never able to control herself when the thoughts of Charity touching her flooded in. They weren't rare, she had them often and sometimes at the most inappropriate of times. Work dinners, meetings, once even while trying to have a conversation with Johnny's teacher. She wanted to be cross but who in their right mind would be? She melted under Charity's touch and she couldn't apologise for it.

"Yes," Charity replied quietly. Her mind was completely elsewhere and usually she'd have chosen to shut Vanessa up some other way but she knew her response was important this time. She didn't want Vanessa's head to be anywhere but right there with her, in that moment.   
  
No worries. No wandering thoughts. And the simple response did the trick.  
  
Vanessa let go of her guilt, even though they'd been all over each other for the past however long, she still had it clinging to her. She was too kind of a woman to be able to just brush it off and move on, not when it came to potentially hurting the love of her life.   
  
With the weight gone Vanessa threw herself back in head first, the hands that had been all over the other woman went straight for her face and pulled her back into another kiss. A deep kiss that broke only for her to be able to utter a few breathy words, "Please don't tease me," before it was reclaimed.   
  
Charity was a god awful tease, as could Vanessa be in return but now and then they'd choose to skip a level and go straight for the one above. Charity loved it when Vanessa was vocal, especially when she used words and so she was more than happy to obliged. Didn't bother trying to get rid of her underwear or any more layers of clothing, she knew what she was doing and she went for it.   
  
As Charity's hand sank beneath the waist of Vanessa's underwear, she whimpered into their kiss. Sometimes the need to have Charity inside her was dire. "Charity," she begged, not amused by the slowness of it all as her arms drew the other woman as close as she could get with a loop around her neck.   
  
There had to be a tiny bit of teasing or else where was the fun? But Charity didn't keep her waiting long, her wrist twisting to deliver two fingers as was desired. And if Charity thought anything was more satisfying up until that point, she'd have taken it back because this was. The way Vanessa welcomed her with a pull, the warmth unmeasured. 

Charity closed her eyes, her nose brushing Vanessa's flushed cheek to breathe her in as her fingers began to move. Vanessa using her hold on her girlfriend to lift into those fingers with ease.   
  
If Tracy came down then, she'd have been scarred for life. The vision of her sister receiving Item 2 on the Charity Dingle Specials Menu was a sight indeed. But she didn't, lucky for her story time ran over.   
  
At times they could go on for hours, when they pulled out all the stops and took their sweet time, but when there was a sheer need and a matching want to give, the length of time it took didn't come to mind. Neither woman cared.   
  
Charity knew how to bring Vanessa to the boil and Vanessa gave herself up willingly. As Charity's pace quickened, Vanessa clung to her for dear life, bucking her hips into each thrust of her fingers until her body began to betray her. Muscles tightened, those around Charity's fingers lead the way and Charity gave back with a curl that always served as an almighty shove towards release for Vanessa.   
  
The sound that came out of the shorter woman was not quiet, a perfect mix between a yelp and a moan as her toes curled and she squeezed Charity tight.   
  
"Shhh," Charity chuckled, her kisses soothing burning skin as they travelled along Vanessa's jaw.   
  
Vanessa heard nothing. If anyone else picked up on what was happening, poor them! She'd be mortified when confronted later but in that moment? Nothing else mattered outside of the fireworks setting off in every nerve ending throughout her entire body.

It wasn't clear if Tracy was terrible at timing or great at it, but it was just as Vanessa's feet touched the ground and she realised her legs were weak that Tracy decided to come back downstairs.   
  
"Two sleeping little men!" She announced.  
  
Charity wrapping Vanessa up in a hug to disguise the fact that she needed a minute to compose herself.  
  
"Aww, look at you two," Tracy beamed, her dimples lighting up the room. It wasn't just Vanessa who had sunshine running through her veins.   
  
"Thanks, Trace." Charity glanced back.  
  
She may have been the blondest woman in the room, but Tracy picked up on an awkward air and the smirk on Charity's face did nothing to help. She took a second to put the pieces together and then realised Charity wasn't wearing a shirt.  
  
Part of her wanted to grimace but more of her was happy that Charity and Vanessa had so clearly made up. She also wasn't really one to be shy about much, even if she would rather not have her big sister's sex life rubbed in her face.   
  
Quietly she thanked the powers that be for two things; one that she didn't walk in two minutes earlier and two, that she wasn't having breakfast at that house in the morning.   
  
"Uhh," she laughed. "I'll let myself out then, shall I?"   
  
Vanessa peered over Charity's shoulder. She was too blissed out to be embarrassed yet.   
  
"Thank you, Sis," she smiled like she'd just eaten a dozen pot brownies.   
  
Charity let go of Vanessa having noted her steady feet on the ground and casually collected her shirt from the floor, kicking the discarded tights under the table. She had no shame, not a smidgen. She knew she looked good in her bra and only had commiserations for Tracy, who hadn't seen her in her birthday suit.   
  
Vanessa made a beeline for her sister, holding out her arms for a hug.   
  
"Eugh, no, get away from me," Tracy played her grimace card after all. "I know where you've been."  
  
Charity took it upon herself to wink at Tracy in the background. Shameless.   
  
Luckily Tracy had a sense of humour and just rolled her eyes. "Love you... both." She kissed her hands and blew a few kisses back at the dirtbags, gathering her things and heading for the door as quickly as she could.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a time skip of two weeks to make things more realistic but also to save boring you with mundane things that would definitely be filler!

Two weeks had passed since Charity and Vanessa had bumped heads and made up. One week of a blissful relationship and one spent apart while Vanessa suffered a whole week on a business trip. She was heading to the closing on her year off as a vet and needed to prove she hadn't forgotten everything before the board would even consider reinstating her come January. 

Charity had agreed to go the week alone, feeling like a mad woman the very first morning she faced juggling two three year old's and a teenager but once Friday arrived and Vanessa was finally due home, Charity felt like she was on top of the world. She'd survived! She'd made it one whole week with nobody's help and she had earned the time she'd get to spend with her girlfriend that afternoon. 

“Vanessa’s back today, isn’t she?” Chas casually asked her cousin as the two of them sat together at the kitchen table sharing a rack of toast.   
  
That toast was meant for Paddy and Noah and the two little ones too but Paddy had rushed out on a veterinary emergency, Noah had turned his nose up at the idea of breakfast and Johnny and Moses had won their fight for cocoa pops instead.   
  
“I hope you’re hungry,” Charity pointed her half eaten slice of toast at Chas, motioning down at the ten plus more slices waiting to be devoured. “and yeah, she is!”   
  
Charity was in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood for a morning that had started before seven and there were no prizes for guessing why.  
  
“Yeah, I’m not eating all that,” Chas dismissed Charity’s ludicrous suggestion, attentively buttering her second and last slice of toast before reaching for the raspberry jam. “give it to Uncle Zak for the pigs or summat.”   
  
“Yeah!” Charity grinned. “That’s a great idea for you! You could do it after breakfast!”   
  
The look on Chas’s face was comical. She was constantly tired of her cousins shit. So much so that at times she wanted to feed her to their uncle’s pigs instead of any leftovers they had going.   
  
“No, that’s your job.” If anyone could put Charity Dingle in her place it was Chas. “You’ve got brave the cold to get the boys to nursery anyway. Why make me go out there unnecessarily?” Catching a glimpse of the two little ones sat side by side on the sofa stuffing their faces with chocolate cereal while watching Paw Patrol, Chas smirked. She always did when a mischievous plan came to mind.   
  
“Boys?” She called over. Two which they both answered in unison, “Yeah?!”   
  
“You’d love it if Mummy Charity took you to see the piggies at Uncle Zak’s, wouldn’t you!”   
  
Charity glared. She could have hit her. She came far too close to grabbing some of that now hardened toast and bouncing it off her beloved cousins head! But it was too late, Johnny and Moses were cheering. “Yay! Piggies!”   
  
Chas chuckled. “Yay!”   
  
“Ugh,” Charity grumbled, stuffing the last piece of her toast in her mouth and washing it down with luke warm coffee but she was never defeated that easily. Chas had started something and it was only right that Charity got her back for it.   
  
“Hey babas, it’s time to get going. Bring those chocolatey bowls over and give them to Auntie Chas... she really wants to clean up after you!” She turned and beamed the most obnoxious of smiles at the other woman. “Isn’t that so kind of her!”   
  
Johnny and Moses carried their bowls over towards the table, both walking so slowly, like they were on a tightrope.   
  
Charity picked up on that. “Make sure you don’t spill all that chocolate milk everywhere, wont ya?”   
  
Chas wasn’t taking any chances, jumping up from the comfort of her seat to collect the bowls from the boys. She knew better than to leave them to it with Charity in charge for even a second longer. “Thank you!” She announced, emphasis on both words. Just so they were clear.   
  
Both little ones went off to tackle their coats and shoes while Charity poked around at her phone screen for a couple of minutes.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Over at the Dingles farm, Charity wandered behind two overexcited little boys with a bag of toast each. She wasn't in the mood for mud and smelly animals but it seemed that both Moses and Johnny always were.   
  
"Uncle Zak! Uncle Zak!" the boys called out in unison as they ran as fast as their little legs could carry them.  
  
Zak hadn't been expecting any visitors but always fed the pigs out front at the same time in the morning, or else the greedy things would get rowdy and people in the houses closest would complain.   
  
"Oh! Hello you two, what are you doin' here at this time?"   
  
He was always pleased to see the kids in the family and he lit up when he noticed they had snacks for his hogs.   
  
"We got toast," Johnny held up his bag with a proud smile.  
  
Moses wasn't far behind, "for piggies breakfast!" they were like a double act these days.   
  
"Oh, thank you boys, my piggies do love a good slice of toast on a mornin'!" Zak chuckled, finishing up emptying some slop into the trough so that he could assist one or both little ones in feeding the animals.  
  
Charity had finally caught up. "This was Chas's bright idea," she groaned.  
  
"Well, make sure you tell her thank you." Zak hadn't picked up on the fact that she'd rather be anywhere else.   
  
"Oh yeah, I'll be sure to!" she shot back wide eyed and full of sarcasm.   
  
"Help me, Mama!" Moses pleaded, holding his arms up to Charity.   
  
Johnny had a better idea, taking it upon himself to climb up a few fence rungs in front of Zak, getting both his independence and the safety net of the old man if he should slip. Zak was more than happy to assist though, taking the little boy's bag for safekeeping until he was ready to have some toast to throw into the pen.   
  
"Can't you climb like Johnny, babe?" The last thing Charity wanted was to have muddy wellies wiped all over her legs.   
  
"Nooo!" Moses bounced up and down. He was the sweetest thing but he was also a Dingle child, so Charity took that bouncing protest as a sure warning and softened up a bit. Farms on a morning were one thing, farms with a screaming angry three year old? Yeah, no thanks.   
  
She collected him from the ground and perched him on her hip, letting him rip into the bag of toast himself.   
  
"Alright, ready little'uns?!" Zak seemed to be having the time of his life, as did Charity's two rosy-cheeked babies, which lead to a smile of her own cracking the surface.   
  
"Yeahh!" The boys were in sync again, both tossing toast at the pigs like it was their new favourite pastime.   
  
Once they were finished, Zak collected the two plastic bags and stuffed them in his pocket. He didn't want them ending up on the floor, swallowed by Monty or something. "So what are you up to now?" he asked, lowering Johnny back to the floor. Moses wriggling to be let down as well.   
  
"We're off the nursery," Charity explained, glancing back as the boys ran in circles around each other playing a far too energetic game of tag.   
  
"Your woman's back in a couple of hours in't she?"   
  
"Yeah, yes she is." The smile on Charity's face said it all. She couldn't be more excited to see her woman.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Chas had given Charity the day off to spend some quality time with Vanessa once she got back from her work trip, so Charity headed on home to Tug Ghyll once the boys were dropped off at nursery for the day. If neither woman was free the babysitter stepped in, but today Tracy had agreed to collect them and bring them back in time for tea.   
  
The second she opened the door Charity could tell she wasn’t alone, but there was no need to be alarmed because that bright yellow coat draped over the back of the patchwork chair definitely didn’t belong to any intruders.   
  
“Babe?!” She called out. “You’re back early!”   
  
She was. Vanessa had lugged her suitcase up the stairs to empty later when she’d heard Charity arrive home. The case was quickly left on the landing so she could race back down. Never had she missed anyone quite as much as she did Charity and their little family.   
  
“I got the earlier train,” Vanessa announced, taking her spot in front of Charity. “I wanted to surprise you.”  
  
“Well you have!” Charity beamed. “Come ‘ere!”   
  
Vanessa never said no to that and was so glad they didn’t have to have a conversation about work before she could get a much needed kiss. Charity always leaned into her correcting their height difference, but today Vanessa beat her to it with a crane of her neck meeting her halfway.   
  
Both women started with their hands on each other’s faces, Vanessa’s quickly moving to sink into Charity’s hair. She’d missed her more than she even knew how to express with words, so trying to get that across in a kiss would have to do.

“Miss me?” Vanessa asked coyly as their kiss broke and her arms snaked naturally over Charity’s shoulders to keep her close.   
  
Charity responded with a tug to Vanessa’s waist, keeping her right there with her too.   
  
“You know I did.” She smiled, delivering two more quick kisses to her girlfriend’s lips.   
  
“Don’t think I’ve seen you this happy before,” Vanessa teased, though part of her believed it.   
  
“Don’t think I have been!” Charity laughed.   
  
She couldn’t be blamed. As much as she loved each one of her children, not one of them had a birth that wasn’t traumatic in some way shape or form, so she could hardly be judged for choosing this moment over those if she was!   
  
“Don’t you ever leave me for more than a few day’s again,” she teased, Vanessa not quite able to work out if she meant that or not, but she wasn’t planning on taking any more business trips for a long time anyway, so all would be well.   
  
“You’re stuck with me now, fear not.” Vanessa did the honours this time, closing in for a kiss that lingered. She’d missed the feel of Charity’s lips against hers and there was nothing that could tear her away in that moment.   
  
“Scary,” Charity just had to slip in, her smile against Vanessa’s mouth said she was kidding.   
  
“Just kiss me,” the shorter of the two demanded in her true bossy form.   
  
Charity didn’t have any arguments with that, so she did as she was asked. Sometimes bossy wasn’t a terrible thing, sometimes bossy got you exactly what you wanted.

Mid kiss came a knock at the door and a mutual groan of exasperation from both blondes. Charity wasn't even considering answering the door but Vanessa hated the idea of someone needing her and failing to get hold of her so she proposed a rain check with a touch of her finger to Charity's lips. 

"I'll just make sure it's nobody important and then I'm all yours again." she promised, backing away to keep her eyes on Charity until she had no choice but to turn around to go and open the door. 

Outside stood a blonde woman in her (approximate) sixties, who looked over Vanessa like she was expecting to recognise her and just didn't.

"Uh, hello. Can I help you?" Vanessa asked, equally as confused as the woman she was faced with.

"I'm looking for Charity Dingle," The mystery woman spoke up, attempting to peer past Vanessa into the house. 

Vanessa ducked in front of her, protective of her home and everything in it. 

"Well, who are you, first?" She had a feeling, it was pretty obvious when she thought about it. Charity looked just like her. 

But Vanessa wasn't prepared to hear her confirm it. 

"Kathleen. I'm Charity's mother. And... you are?" 

Vanessa knew if she was knocked sideways by this revelation, Charity certainly would be. She almost wanted to close the door in Kathleen's face and get back to her girlfriend. She was kicking herself for answering the door in the first place. This was not her ideal homecoming. Charity would not be pleased to see her mum. 

"Hello...?" Kathleen waved a hand in front of Vanessa, who was rather shell shocked.

And then Charity appeared, took Vanessa by the arm and pulled her backwards so that she could charge in front of her. 

"You need to GO." she snapped, not giving the older woman a chance to say another word before the door was slammed in her face. 

"Charity!" Kathleen called from outside, knocking on the door. "Come on Charity, open up! I need to talk to you!"

Vanessa furiously pulled the curtains to a close to keep snooping eyes out. 

Charity shouted back her reply, "GO AWAY!" 

Things fell silent, Vanessa awkwardly standing next to the patchwork chair, Charity rubbing her forehead trying to come to terms with seeing the woman who'd given birth to her and supposedly died decades ago, standing on her bloody doorstep, trying to make conversation with her. Charity lowered her hand, her voice a little weaker than usual, "Vanessa, please tell me this has got nothing to do with you..." 

"No!" Vanessa replied without a moment's hesitation. "God, no. I promise." 

"Good." Charity was able to breathe again. She should have felt bad for even thinking Vanessa had anything to do with it, but there had been a few blips along the way that allowed her to get away with thinking so. Her saving grace was that she only needed to hear Vanessa say she wasn't guilty once and she believed her. Wholly, solidly. No single doubt in her mind. 

"What are we gonna do?" Vanessa asked, moving closer to her girlfriend to sweep stray strands of hair away from her face. 

"I don't know, babe," Charity replied, clearly downtrodden. This was not how the day was supposed to go. "I don't know. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kathleen Raynor**/Dingle is probably someone who'll come into Emmerdale at some point and so I might have got her character completely wrong but this is how I would portray her if I wrote her given the little we know of her from the show itself. I got a little bit of help from some of my Vanity loving friends who seem to think this is how she'd be too. 
> 
> If you don't agree, that's fine. :) This is me being creative. Fingers crossed we get to see her on the show in the future and then we can find out how right we were or weren't! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> **Raynor is a made up name. I figured given her past, I doubt she'd remain a Dingle all these years! She might, but not in my story.

Upon arriving home from work, Vanessa hadn't expected to walk in on the scene that she did. Her sister sat at the table with none other than Kathleen, the woman who'd been told quite clearly the day before that she wasn't welcome in that house. She sat there having what appeared to be a cosy cup of tea with Tracy and the worst part was that Moses was just a few feet away.

Vanessa didn't even take off her coat before marching on over and picking up Moses from his spot on the floor like the protective mama bear she was.

"Uh, Tracy? What's she doing here?" She asked, shielding the little boy like Kathleen might infect him with poison just by looking at him.

"What do you mean?" Tracy was confused and suddenly a bit on edge having witnessed the way her sister whisked Moses away from the woman she was sat with.

"Her," Vanessa waved a finger at Kathleen without a second thought as to how rude it seemed. Nobody messed with her girlfriend and she'd been there to witness the way Charity reacted to Kathleen the day before. It wasn't pretty. "she needs to go."

"V, she's Charity's mum! She's welcome, in't she?" Tracy looked to Kathleen and then to her sister, trying to figure out what was going on.

Kathleen finally spoke up, "No, no she's right. I shouldn't be here." Standing up, she looked Vanessa directly in the eyes as she moved closer to her. "I'm sorry."

Vanessa's frown softened as she locked eyes with Charity's mother. Something about her wasn't right but at the same time she didn't seem all that threatening either. Part of the small blonde wanted to give her a chance to explain herself but there was no way that she could, not without Charity's say so, not after their little run-in just a couple of weeks prior.

"I'll go." Kathleen looked forlorn, offering Vanessa an apologetic smile on her way to the door.

Vanessa simply nodded. That big heart of hers would have forced her to reach out and ask the woman to stay, had she been anyone else, but no. She couldn't do that, so she kept quiet and let Kathleen go, only putting Moses back down once the front door closed and Kathleen was gone.

"What was that all about?" Tracy piped up, collecting the half drunk cup of tea she'd made and tipping it out into the sink. "Have they had a barney or something?"

Vanessa took a deep breath in, a hand landing on her hip for a moment's silence. She then breathed out and shook her head, 'no' in reply.

"Well, whatever it is, she seems really nice!" Tracy shrugged, "Dead sweet and really interested in all things Charity." she added, sitting herself down on the sofa to watch Moses as he returned to his game of Dinosaurs Eat Princesses.

The smaller of the two women joined her sister on the sofa, she wasn't sure what to say, so it was best to just change the subject entirely for the time being. She hoped Tracy would allow her to.

"How's Moses been?" She asked.

Tracy had volunteered to collect the little one from nursery after he'd complained of a tummy ache and been sent home.

"He's alright," Tracy smiled softly. "aren't you matey?"

Moses nodded, not giving either woman a second look. His game was far more important.

"Has he eaten?" Vanessa asked. Tracy picking up right away that this was small talk, her sister's way of avoiding the elephant in the room, but at the same time she understood that Vanessa was often stuck between a rock and a hard place when it came to Dingle drama, so she'd let her off this time.

"Only a bit of toast and Marmite, he managed two squares." Tracy humoured her big sister, answering the mundane mummy questions that were usually written down in a log book both Moses and Johnny took to nursery.

It was then that Tracy was saved by the bell. Or the sound of Charity returning home with Johnny in tow.

As soon as the front door opened, the youngest family member ran on in and plopped himself down on the floor to pull off his shoes. He was really into trying to do everything by himself now, inspired by his slightly older step brother who'd found his independence a few weeks before.

"Hello, baby!" Vanessa called out, amused at the idea of being completely blanked by her son who hadn't even given her a thought.

"Hello, yourself." Charity quipped. There was no stopping her. Any opportunity to get in there with a bit or sarcasm or humour was taken, no time spared.

Vanessa rolled her eyes, the smile on her face growing the moment Charity stopped behind the sofa and leaned over to give her a kiss.

Tracy grinned. She loved the two women together and didn't care how cheesy it was for her to hear wedding bells in her head every once in a while when she was around them. Eh, a girl could dream. Love didn't appear to be on the cards for her but for her sister, it certainly was.

"Alright, well," Tracy stood up, "I think you two have some talking to do so I'll play Mary Poppins for free one last time..."

Charity looked at Tracy and then at Vanessa, "What have we got to talk about? That's a bit ominous, isn't it?"

Vanessa shook her head, "I'm not dumpin' you, don't worry."

To that, she got a smirk from her girlfriend. Vanessa was clever in that way, completely distract Charity for a moment and she'd buy herself some time before more questions came at her. She hoped by that time, she'd be able to spill the beans on what she'd walked in on.

She then turned to Tracy, "And what do you mean one last time for free? Aunties don't charge to look after their nephews! At least not good ones..."

Tracy huffed. "Alright then, well I at least need some cash if you want me to take them out to Maccy D's or something."

The boys ears pricked up, everything until that point had gone in one ear and out the other but the prospect of nuggets and chips and a bus ride with Auntie Tracy didn't go amiss. Johnny was even furiously attempting to reverse his shoe removal, shoving his foot back into his trainer so that he'd be ready to go.

Charity wasn't sure what the hell was going on but if it meant a couple of hours child-free, spent with her other half alone? She was into it and she delved into her pocket to pull out a couple of notes, handing them over to Tracy.

Tracy did a little victory dance. "Yay! Look boys! Nugget money!"

The boys were on their feet in no time, Tracy was their new best friend.

It took the trio two whole minutes to scarper and then Vanessa was left with a very curious Charity who was looking at her expectantly.   
  
"Don't make me wait, babe. It's killing me. What is it?" She wanted to know ten minutes ago! Waiting wasn't Charity's thing.   
  
"Well," Vanessa could be so awkward sometimes and this moment wasn't one of her best. She grimaced, not sure how to even say what she wanted to say so she allowed a bit of word vomit to pour out of her instead. "when I got home your mum was here having a brew with Tracy!"  
  
Charity's brow shot right up. She was about to speak too, but Vanessa was still rattling on.   
  
"The cheek of it, right? Tracy seems to think she's lovely but I'm not sure, myself. She was here with Moses! And I wasn't having that, so I told her she had to go..."   
  
The mention of Moses being there with Kathleen irked Charity, who eventually managed to get a word in edge ways.   
  
"You what? She's been here with Moses?!"  
  
Vanessa quickly replied, "Well, I don't think she knows who he is if that makes it any better."  
  
It didn't. Not really.   
  
"I'll kill her!" Charity was chomping at the bit, ready to hunt her mother down and give her a piece of her mind.   
  
Then Vanessa's hand touching hers snapped her out of it.   
  
"You don't want to kill her, Charity." The smaller woman's voice was calm.   
  
"Yeah, babe!" Charity was furious. "I kinda do! Where is she? How long ago was this?" 

"I don't know and about half hour ago, if that," Vanessa replied. "I'm surprised you didn't pass her in the street to be fair."  
  
That was it, Charity fled for the door.   
  
"Charity!" Vanessa called after her but to no avail. She'd have to follow her if she wanted any chance of talking sense into her, so she did, quickly checking her coat pocket to make sure she had her house keys.   
  
Charity was fast when she was on the war path, far too fast for Vanessa's short legs to keep up but she did her best, the wind blowing the loose strands of hair that had fallen from her ponytail into her face.   
  
"Charity! Slow down!" Vanessa yelled out as she tried to catch up. "Where are you even going?!"   
  
It seemed obvious after she'd asked, what with Charity marching directly for the Woolpack. Everywhere else was closed after six on a weekday evening, so unless Kathleen had left the village already, she was more than likely to be found having a drink in the pub. It's not like anyone would recognise her these days, she could slip under the radar.   
  
Bursting into the Woolpack, Charity scanned the place for a certain blonde in her late sixties.   
  
"And you think you can get rid of her, eh?" Chas joked from behind the bar, quickly realising something was up when Charity didn't make a smart remark back. Even more so when a wind-swept Vanessa entered through the doors behind her girlfriend.   
  
And there she was, the woman Charity was looking for, sipping a glass of orange juice in the back corner.   
  
"Oi, you!" Charity shouted across the room without an ounce of care for anyone else in there.   
  
"Charity!" Chas yelled, storming out from behind the bar to stop her cousin from starting a fight with a random old woman she was sure she'd never seen before.   
  
"Charity." Kathleen seemed relieved to see her daughter, "Join me?"   
  
Vanessa raised her brow. She knew Charity.   
  
Charity was outraged. "No! I won't bloody join you! Why are you hanging around like a bad smell?!"  
  
Chas was thoroughly confused, as were onlookers throughout the pub.   
  
"Vanessa. Care to explain what's going on here?" Chas figured it best to ask Vanessa given she'd sooner get blood from a stone than sense from her cousin when she was like this.   
  
"Uhh," Vanessa shook her head, her whole face apologetic. "no?"   
  
Chas threw up her arms in surrender and disappeared back off behind the bar. If Charity wanted to kill an old woman, so be it. She was washing her hands of any involvement. 

Vanessa, ever the mediator, stepped in between mother and daughter, "How about we go somewhere else? Eh?"

Kathleen was in full agreement, she stood up and left her drink behind, gathering her bag and coat.

Charity grumbled. She hated it when she was geared up for a fight and someone came along and extinguished it, just like that.

Luckily it was Vanessa, so she got away with it.

Charity calmed a bit, though not enough for Vanessa to take her arm, the poor shorter woman shaken off the second she tried. Charity was far too annoyed for such softness.

Vanessa managed to wrangle both women, leading Kathleen back towards Tug Ghyll, to where Charity had already began retracing her steps. She wasn't sure how this would all go down or if Kathleen would manage to gain five minutes to try to explain what she was doing in the village but it was worth a try.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Back at the house, Vanessa tried her best to continue as mediator without getting too involved, though that was a tough feat for her. She made more tea and brought it to the coffee table where Kathleen had taken a seat on the sofa.

Charity, however, was far too worked up to sit down and paced as she tried to find the words. Any words for the woman who'd decided now was the time to come back into her life.

"Thank you, Vanessa." Kathleen said quietly as she accepted the cup of tea.

Vanessa offered an awkward but soft smile in reply, "You're welcome."

Charity shot her girlfriend a look. "Don't be nice to her!"

To which Vanessa pulled a face. What was she meant to do? Be hostile? Who would that help? Instead she backed off a little and went to clean some already clean things about the kitchen. With three boys in the house there was always something that needed a second wipe over, even if it looked to be gleaming.

"Why now?" Charity finally asked. Her body language was that of a defensive child, her arms crossed firmly over her chest, her eyes not wanting to lock with those of her mother.

"I've asked myself that question," Kathleen started. Her eyes were on Charity constantly, she couldn't believe the grown woman she saw stood in front of her, someone who reminded her a lot of herself... in looks only. The character appeared a lot harder, a strength she hoped was natural to her and not something she'd simply had to find to survive.

"Yeah? Well, what did you come up with?" Charity wasn't giving the other woman any leeway. She wanted answers and she deserved them. Vanessa kept herself out of the way, though she couldn't help listening in from across the room. 

"It was now or never, Charity," Kathleen explained. "it's been a long time coming."

"But why NOW?" Charity wanted to know and she didn't like hearing that woman say her name, despite being the one to give it to her.

"I-I saw the news..."

That was the last thing Charity wanted to hear. She was convinced that she'd even prefer it if Vanessa's spy friend from vet school had taken it upon herself to do more digging. It seemed like a huge coincidence to her but now all of a sudden it didn't. Of course it didn't, the whole situation with D.I. Bails had been all over the news and it wasn't like Charity Dingle was a common name to have.

Charity went quiet. How could she respond to that? Her supposedly dead mother had crawled out of her grave after hearing about the worst time of her abandoned daughter's life. How rich of her.

Kathleen made the mistake of reaching out to her daughter physically, her hand slapped away in an instant.

"Don't you dare!" Charity snapped. "If it wasn't for you none of that would have happened!!"

Kathleen seemed horrified. She had thought about the consequences of leaving her young daughter behind with her drunk of a father, of course she had, but the reality of it was a lot to take in. A heavy guilt she wasn't sure what to do with.

Vanessa reappeared from the kitchen. She may have been small but she was fiercely and unconditionally protective over her girlfriend and if she had to get rid of Kathleen herself, she was more than willing to. She stayed back, but only a few steps away this time.

"I'm sorry, I," Kathleen wasn't sure what to say.

"Don't be!" Charity was fuming. "Don't be sorry now! I'm fine NOW. You should have been sorry when you left me with a man you knew was in no fit state to be anyone's father. You knew he wasn't good enough for you, but me?" She laughed, but there was no humour in it. Disbelief, hurt. "Oh that violent drunk was perfectly okay for ME."

Vanessa's heart broke each and every time she witnessed Charity break. The stories her woman had to tell, she wouldn't have wished them on anyone, especially not Charity. She couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes and the anger she felt towards the woman who, had she not known any details from Charity's life, did seem like a decent human being. Tracy was right. But she wasn't. She'd failed the love of Vanessa's life in ways she couldn't believe. Kathleen wasn't on Vanessa's Christmas card list, that was for sure. 

She quietly slipped into her rightful spot beside Charity, her hand gently brushing her back out of view. There was comfort but nothing to bring Charity down from her tower of strength, not in front of Kathleen.

"I think you should go, Kathleen." Vanessa stepped in, she could feel her girlfriend shaking beside her. Whether it was all anger or a mix of emotions, it really didn't matter.

Charity didn't say a word, which meant she didn't object.

Kathleen seemed as if she had words on the tip of her tongue but what could she say really? Charity was right and she knew it. She couldn't just waltz back in and expect a relationship with her daughter. There was a lot to talk about, things to explain and endless apologies to give but it was clear that now was not the time.

She nodded, quietly appreciative of Vanessa's input.

Vanessa's hand dropped to Charity's, giving it a light squeeze before she left her to walk the offending guest to the door to let her out. No words were exchanged, no agreed time for another visit. Things would have to settle for a while and it would be on Charity's terms, that seemed to be sealed with a single look shared between Vanessa and Kathleen as the older woman turned and left through the front gate.

The door was closed lightly, Vanessa turning around to find Charity already helping herself to a drink directly from a bottle of scotch. The small one made a beeline for her girlfriend, gently easing the bottle from her hand to discard on the table. "If you get drunk and pass out, you'll miss out on the leftover nuggets you know the boys are gonna bring you."

There was a small smile flashed before Vanessa tugged a willing Charity into her arms.

"Hmm," Charity seemed to relax like magic when Vanessa held her. "they better bring dip."


End file.
